For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be a mum – I know sooo cliche right ha! But seriously I’ve always wanted to be a mum, I’ve always been maternal and just felt like I needed to be a mum. I always knew breastfeeding was something I would do – no thinking about it or decision making needed I was doing it!
I am a believer of breast is best but I also believe firmly that there are limitations to that! For example the health of the baby, or if it’s making mum so unhappy that she can’t be the best mum she can be – then in my opinion rethinking breastfeeding is maybe a good idea! After all a happy mum is a better mum than one who is letting their difficulty in breastfeeding affect their mental state.
I know that there are some mamas out there who it really does affect deeply. And I don’t blame them really, all the pressure to breastfeed especially from some midwives and healthcare professionals can be really overwhelming especially when you just can’t seem to get it right!
I breastfed Nylah for 6 months and I really loved it. When she was first born she fed for an hour – 30 minutes each side and I was so happy that she latched on straight away! From then on she fed pretty well I felt though sometimes she did struggle with latching straight away and I would have to take her off and get her to latch properly.
I felt empowered when she was feeding as if I was super mum and no one could do what I was doing for my baby – god I felt so special and in some ways I was!
I do remember being quite protective when feeding almost like a dog with their bowl haha! I didn’t like anyone too close incase they distracted her lol.
For me I didn’t have any problems feeding and I feel like my body just naturally took to it which is great but it was the physical and emotional effects I struggled with.
I couldn’t share feeding time with my partner so I felt guilty that he was missing out on that special time.
I was tired and had sore boobs all the time because I was a milk machine literally – if not feeding then pumping when she finally did take a bottle (but that’s another post).
She just wanted me all the time! She never wanted her dad which as lovely as it is to be wanted, it’s also very draining, and I felt bad for him. I felt sad that his baby didn’t really want him only me but I think he understood why that happened.
I couldn’t go out without her for more than two hours because she wouldn’t take a bottle and would only drink from the breast! This also meant that she couldn’t stay out over night so I couldn’t have a night off for the first 6 months.
I couldn’t drink any alcohol. Not like I’m a big drinker but it would have been nice to have the option.
And on top of all this she developed teeth early which was not fun at all! She used to bite like crazy and no matter how much you love your child you become almost scared of them and their tiny baby teeth hehehe!
I worried quite a bit – in the sense that I never knew how much she drank and sometimes she didn’t seem to feed properly and I worried that she was an inefficient eater and wasn’t getting enough nutrients from me!
I hated feeding whilst out in public! I know we shouldn’t be bothered – our babies have to eat right! It just bothered me and I felt like people could see. I wish I was one of those amazing women who weren’t afraid to feed where ever they were. I was just too shy and I hated it! I did however love that the town centre where I live had a good few places to feed – thank you Manchester!!
When I decided to stop breastfeeding it was mainly due to Nylah having teeth – it was just too painful and I really was just tired. It took a lot of thought, readiness and preparation emotionally to do this. I weighed up a lot of different things when I made the decision and I didn’t do it lightly. It was a very traumatic experience transitioning from breast to bottle ( I will do a separate post on this I’ve had some mamas ask how I did it)
I did however pump a bit so that she had some of my milk to help with transitioning but after a bit I just felt like a cow – the noise the breast pump made didn’t help lol.
When I’m ready to have my second baby I will 100% breastfeed again if I’m able to but I think I will be doing things a bit differently.
Im going to combination feed – breastfeeding and bottle feeding. When I do give the baby a bottle I’m going to have mainly breast milk in it and maybe one bottle of formula for a night feed in hopes that the baby sleeps longer.
I’m going to be pumping from quite early on to build up my supply so that I can let my partner do bottle feeds and some night feeds. Which will mean possibly a bit more sleep for me ha!
Pumping will also enable me to build up a freezer stash so that I don’t spend loads of money on formula when I stop breast feeding.
I think that this will help with the whole feeding in public saga – I just won’t do it as I will have my milk in a bottle ready to go!
So there you go guys my breastfeeding story – I hope you enjoyed it. I’d love to know about your feeding stories!
Comment below and join the conversation!